It has often been said that there are two driving seasons in Canada, winter and construction. We are currently in the transition period from the former to the latter.

My wife and I were talking about this the other day as we made our way to our cottage on Georgian Bay for the first time in this new year. To take our minds off the driving conditions, we started batting around potential names for driving schools that might prepare the next generation for the road hazards ahead. Here are the Top 10 names we came up with. Feel free to add your own.

(1) The Sincere Apologies driving school − for driving students who just know they’re not going to get it right.

(2) The Lucky Brake driving school − who can resist the cheesy pun?

(3) The Leadfoot driving school − to be charitable, let’s just say this is for those who have “eye-foot” co-ordination problems.

(4) Repo Man driving school – where the teachers are true professionals and the students are open to learning new tricks.

(5) The Pray Hard driving school – for the religious (i.e., just close your eyes and …)

(6) The White Cane driving school – I don’t even want to think about it.

(7) Yikes! driving school − you might as well get used to saying it.

(8) Honkers driving school − for those in a hurry to get to Hooters.

(9) The Multi-tasking driving school – this is for people who want to do more than just drive: e.g., talk on the phone, drink coffee; apply make-up; write a blog entry; etc.

(10) The Hide-My-Car-Keys driving school – for all graduates of the preceding nine driving schools.

In the real world of driving in Toronto, there are some names that are every bit as creative as the above, but I don’t want to add them here for fear of being sued or run over.

Alex Carrick

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